I’m sure that you’ve come across this absurdly hulking piece of garbage by now. I’ve personally seen it in at least three catalogues, Bed, Bath & Beyond and at least one other 
housewares store. Let’s think about this one. As best I can tell, it takes ice, some flavoring such as fruit, a liquid such as tequila, and blends all of that together until you get a deliciously-flavored beverage with a smooth, crushed ice consistency. It achieves this miraculous feat by a very clever engineering marvel: two metal blades that spin really, really fast. Hmm, for some reason, I think I’ve come across this before. Ah yes, now I remember—a blender. That’s what a blender does.
Maybe I’m missing something. Surely the “frozen concoction maker” isn’t just a blender in disguise. Surely. Well, as best I can tell, it’s a blender with an ice bucket attached to it. And it may or may not have some kind of measuring tool to help you regulate the portions of lime juice, Cointreau, tequila, etc. I’m not exactly sure.
Here’s the deal: This classic Solution Without A Problem is a blender so ridiculously specialized that it’s only function is to help you make boat drinks. For 300 dollars. To all of the fools who have bought this monstrosity, here’s an insight that is apparently lost on you. A normal blender from Kitchen Aid or Oster or whomever makes perfectly good boat drinks, and it performs other cooking-related tasks as well. You don’t need a “frozen concoction maker.” You need a blender.
My advice: Buy a 100 dollar blender. It will last forever. I’ve had mine for nine years now and it still works great. Then take that additional 200 dollars, buy a decent bottle of tequila, a bottle of Cointreau, some limes, and then put your new blender away in the cabinet (BTW, the “frozen concoction” machine is so huge it wouldn’t have even fit in that cabinet) and make a margarita the way it is meant to be served: on the rocks with no salt. You’ll have at least a hundred dollars left over and an intact sense of your self-esteem by seeing through the “frozen concoction maker” marketing ruse.
But, I know that there are some skeptics out there. “I make a LOT of margaritas,” they say, “and so it will pay for itself in the long run.” This, incidentally, is a common argument among people who indulge in solutions without problems. My retort is this: If you make that damn many frozen margaritas that you feel a normal blender can’t stand up to the volume, you should apply the 300 bucks to rehab.
Solution without a problem scale: 5 out of 5
housewares store. Let’s think about this one. As best I can tell, it takes ice, some flavoring such as fruit, a liquid such as tequila, and blends all of that together until you get a deliciously-flavored beverage with a smooth, crushed ice consistency. It achieves this miraculous feat by a very clever engineering marvel: two metal blades that spin really, really fast. Hmm, for some reason, I think I’ve come across this before. Ah yes, now I remember—a blender. That’s what a blender does.Maybe I’m missing something. Surely the “frozen concoction maker” isn’t just a blender in disguise. Surely. Well, as best I can tell, it’s a blender with an ice bucket attached to it. And it may or may not have some kind of measuring tool to help you regulate the portions of lime juice, Cointreau, tequila, etc. I’m not exactly sure.
Here’s the deal: This classic Solution Without A Problem is a blender so ridiculously specialized that it’s only function is to help you make boat drinks. For 300 dollars. To all of the fools who have bought this monstrosity, here’s an insight that is apparently lost on you. A normal blender from Kitchen Aid or Oster or whomever makes perfectly good boat drinks, and it performs other cooking-related tasks as well. You don’t need a “frozen concoction maker.” You need a blender.
My advice: Buy a 100 dollar blender. It will last forever. I’ve had mine for nine years now and it still works great. Then take that additional 200 dollars, buy a decent bottle of tequila, a bottle of Cointreau, some limes, and then put your new blender away in the cabinet (BTW, the “frozen concoction” machine is so huge it wouldn’t have even fit in that cabinet) and make a margarita the way it is meant to be served: on the rocks with no salt. You’ll have at least a hundred dollars left over and an intact sense of your self-esteem by seeing through the “frozen concoction maker” marketing ruse.
But, I know that there are some skeptics out there. “I make a LOT of margaritas,” they say, “and so it will pay for itself in the long run.” This, incidentally, is a common argument among people who indulge in solutions without problems. My retort is this: If you make that damn many frozen margaritas that you feel a normal blender can’t stand up to the volume, you should apply the 300 bucks to rehab.
Solution without a problem scale: 5 out of 5
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